Skinny Love

What I miss about the Philippines is was independency. When I was there I can go home whatever time I want to. I can eat whatever time I please and whatever food I want to consume. No one gives a fuck if I have not any clean clothes for the week, I had to tend that myself. No one cares if I clean my room or not. But these things, I do it anyway because I care for myself. I do it happily. I can go to parties, out of town and I don't need to update anyone but myself and Instagram. I can exercise in the middle of the night. I can wear short shorts. I can wear fitted clothes and I look good cause when I live by myself, I can loose weight because I can skip meals. I can skip dinner or breakfast and I would not bother to shop for groceries so if I am hungry I have to go out or cook to eat but there would be no chocolates, junk food, biscuits or any spare food in sight. 

I like my system because when I am bored, I do not eat whatever I see at the table. When I am bored, I either sleep or watch. Sometimes I try to read but when you are hungry you wanted to go out of the house and get some food. But laziness always gets the best of me so on a good day, I can get out by 3 and eat the first meal of the day and sometimes the only meal of the day. It was not the healthiest choice. I try to change it and eat three small meals each day. I do it every weekday but on the weekends, I can't promise anything except when I sleepover at my boyfriend's where they feed me home cooked meals. Surprisingly, I like it. I feel light then and skinny and pretty. Now I feel fat because I eat everything in sight and I do not have any self control. 

I am getting seriously fat. I don't wanna. 

E