Root of Fear

I witnessed how my mom almost had a nervous breakdown. It was no fun. It was a mixture of OCD, nagging and pushing away of people. People referring to us. It started when she bought a dog which my sister cared for very closely until the dog died. My mom has this thought that the dog had rabies because it was not vaccinated. She said that maybe the dog bit my sister and then it died. For half a year, she was acting really annoying but I try to show compassion because she is my mother and I love her. That was the least thing I can do for her. What I learned from the situation was how to battle fear. My mom developed an OCD. She would ask for reassurances and would ask the same questions again and again. Her fear was caused by the lack of knowledge. She always complains that she was only a nurse and that if she was a doctor she would know the answers to her questions and she would not fear anything because she can explain it to herself. She said if she had the knowledge and knew the answers, she can calm her mind down. 

Growing up, I developed fears myself. I get nervous speaking or performing in front of a large crowd. I get nervous during the quarter release of grades. I get scared when I am going out for a date. I get scared when I am in a difficult class. I always tell my mother these things. By now she is better and every time, she asks me the same question: 

What is the reason behind the fear? 

And it roots back to a lack of something. 

I get nervous speaking or performing in front of a large crowd when I know that I did not practice enough. 
[lack of practice] 
I get nervous during the quarter release of grades when I know I did not perform that well in that quarter.
[lack of performance]
I get scared when I am going out for a date because I do not know exactly what might happen. I can't have any knowledge about that until it happens. 
[lack of experience]
I get scared when I am in a difficult class when I know that I did not read about our discussion or subject for that course.  
[lack of knowledge]

And how do we battle fear out? By compromising what you lack. You practice. You perform. You experience. You read. 

And most of all, you learn as you face your fear. And then there would be no more fear. 

E