Mindfuckery

Can't possibly think of any extraordinary things to write or to tell you except that I woke up in the middle of the night because my mother and sister barged in like it's nobody's business here at home. My father and I were already sleeping but no, they had to be loud. I hate it. So I woke up found out that my application for citizenship was incomplete due to a lack of school records. Now I have to unearth the stupid record from my country. Good luck to me. This incident brought sadness to my okay heart. I then found myself stress eating at 1am!!! I ate a cake, pringles and gulped in vegetable artificial juice. Everything I ate healthily today went to waste because of my binge just now. I feel fat. I feel hopeless. And I feel very very sad. 

It is surprising how my mood can turn 360 degree just by one thing. See, I have a very weak heart and mind. My body can take all the beating but my emotional quotient is zero to none. I feel hot inside my room scrolling through my phone and obsessing about this young couple, thinking about what the hell happened to my life. I know that I should not be complaining because I am too blessed to be stressed out and to feel like this. But I have a weak mind, and my mind said I should be sad and bothered. My mind said don't sleep even when you have work later at 830. My mind does not care about me. It has a brain on its own. It operates by itself not minding how I feel. How I suffer when it decides to just fuck me up. 

I wish I was in a different universe and then maybe I can have the stongest mind and would not give any damn in the world.

E